A real Boy

This morning I was thinking about how you're a real boy. A real live fleshly person, with feelings and emotions. And no matter how hard you try, you cant mask them from me. You get angry because although you try to play those big boy games, when it comes to me your under belly is exposed. Now let me admit to you, my intentions towards you were the same. Let me tell you I wasn't looking at you as the real person you are. I was simply looking for a fix to fill in the blank at the moment. HORRIBLE I know, and didn't I learn my lesson the last time I went there with you. Hey, I'm imperfect, do we ever truly learn? Seems like I keep bumping my head when it comes to you. You pretend like you're OK with being a toy. And you keep fighting the struggle within to be acknowledged as a real boy. Sweetheart, you're fighting a losing battle. Sweetheart, you're fighting a battle that you cant win. Sooner or later you gotta drop your shields and let someone in. Sooner or later you gotta learn to stop pushing everyone away. Instead of getting better, with time you've only gotten worse. And if you don't stop it you will be alone. But as for me, since you've still got so much to figure out on your journey I cant be a party to it. Sorry sweetheart I gotta go the other way. if you need me, tell me. If you want me, say it. But reading your mind I cant. Taking a back seat to your craziness I can not. Waiting for you to materialize is like watching paint dry, long tedious and boring! As much as it hurts me to leave you like this, I gotta move on.