My love for you is not enough!

What is it about you? Why cant I shake you? Even when I HATE you and have to fight you to the death, I know on the other side of that thin line there's love. Afraid to admit it to the world because of all of the pain you've caused me. You offer me no future, no real tangible reciprocity. I know what the world in your arms feels like. I can lie to myself and say that my love for you is enough. But really its not, I wasn't happy because I wasn't getting back from you what I was giving you. I can try and justify it as the day is long, but no matter how you chop it, we all know I deserve better. Now I know you love me, you just have a real messed up way of showing it. Your expression of love only hurt me! Why? Because you could never love me more than you love yourself. You always have to bang your head against the wall. I cant wait around for you to get it together. And I cant wait for you to understand what it is that I need. Waiting for you is like waiting for Niagara Falls to run dry. I'm gonna ask my father what to do. I know I cant listen to my bleeding heart because the heart is treacherous.